As I visited Tammy’s blog and read of her surgery and then her time of recovery, I couldn’t help relating to what she was experiencing during this “down” time.
I have been pregnant 13 times now and experienced 5 miscarriages anywhere from 8 weeks to 18 weeks into my pregnancies. To say that I have experience in surviving down time is a little bit of an understatement.
What Tammy shared is all true for me, too. It is incredibly hard to be down and see your husband, children and friends picking up your slack. I always feel lazy, more so as I start to get better but still shouldn’t resume all my normal activities. Yet at the same time, I have learned that if I don’t slow down and allow myself to recover fully, that could mean additional recovery time. This would keep me out of commission for an extended period of time and add more responsibilities to my family and friends.
When I was younger I certainly bounced back much faster, but as I have aged over the years I realize that I am not the young whipper-snapper that I used to be. Therefore, to survive times when I am laid up, I created work. Yes, work.
I started working on my first business/website in 2005, right after our most difficult loss – Our son Matthew whom we lost at 18 weeks. In order not to be swallowed up by the grief, I had to do something to keep my mind from dwelling on my lost son. So I buried myself into building our website. Now, this won’t work for everyone and it isn’t exactly what I’d recommend; my point is that when we are laid up, we need to come up with ways to keep our minds or our hands busy and still let ourselves heal. This is how blogging and working on my Virtual Assistant business has helped me through two other losses and now a new pregnancy during the past 13 months. That’s not to say that I always feel like blogging because there are lots of times when I couldn’t write and my blogs will show proof of that. Other times I only wrote in my personal journal because feelings would be too raw or I was too tired to even think to write.
During morning sickness, I usually sleep because the feelings of nausea wipe me out. So unless the waves of nausea have passed, even reading is out of the question. This is when sleep is blissful because it not only rests the body, but also the mind.
As long as I was physically able, I would also gather my children on my bed with me. We’d listen to music, cuddle, watch videos and if I felt up to it, read books. The children have always been welcome around me, unless I specifically requested alone time or my husband banned them from the room so I could rest. It is important for us to still feel a part of the hustle and bustle of family life, especially since more often than not we mothers are the center of our family. If we are down, usually the family is too.
It’s hard to be laid up, but looking back, I remember that we survived many months of me being on bedrest or being limited in my activity. And actually, I think the rest of my family has grown in so many ways that they wouldn’t have otherwise. So as much as being laid up teaches me patience and appreciation for my family, it also teaches them these things and more as they take on more responsibilities.
What we often feel as a burden is really a blessing in disguise as we grow through difficult circumstances. It is possible to survive down times. How we survive and how we respond are choices we make. – written by Theresa with Faith and Family Reviews