Surgery For Ear Tubes Fifth Time For Autism ChildAutism Mom Blog

Surgery For Ear Tubes Fifth Time

surgery for ear tubesMy son has to have surgery for ear tubes.  It will be his fifth time getting tubes in his ears.  He’s scheduled for next week, and I am not looking forward to it.  My dad is going to come up and take care of my daughter.  That will be a great help.  The surgery is scheduled for Thursday, and my daughter has swimming lessons.  He’ll take her for me, and watch after her while I am at the hospital.  My dad said “That’s what daddies are for.”  Isn’t he great?  He lives an hour away, so he’ll be getting up really early to be here in time for me to take my son to the hospital.

The last time my son had ear tubes put in his ears, the recovery process was difficult.  Getting the drops in his ears was almost impossible for me to do.  This time, he’s older and stronger.  I really don’t think I will be able to do it.  My husband and I are going to have to wake him up in the morning for the drops.  I hate to do that, because my husband gets up really early for work.  I don’t see any way around it.  I can’t do it alone.

Ear Tubes To Help Son

I’m glad that the ear tubes surgery is scheduled for next week.  My son will feel so much better after he heals up from it.  I know it’s been hard on him, having one ear infection after another.  The doctor couldn’t get a good look into his ears, because of wax build-up.  She tried to clean them, but my son wasn’t having that.  She tried once, and then we gave up.  He was so scared.  Since his ears are blocked, we couldn’t do a hearing test, or see if there’s any damage from the last ear infection.  With his last one, there was blood coming out of his ear.

After the ear tubes surgery, and he has had a little time to heal, they will do a hearing test.  She wants to do it as soon as possible, before the wax builds up in his ears again.  But it can’t be too soon, because his ears will need to heal after the surgery.

For my son’s last four ear tube surgeries, he had a different doctor.  That doctor has moved, and a new one has taken his placed.  I was worried about this, but she was great.  It also helped that it’s the same practice, and has all of my son’s past medical records for his ear surgeries.  It was great that the staff knows my son, and I didn’t have to answer a lot of questions about my son and autism.  They made sure she was filled in before she came in the room.

I’ll keep you updated on this, of course.  Anyone want to come hold my hand at the hospital?

UPDATE post in response to some comments made about my parenting skills and how behavior management should apply to this situation.
When Behavior Management Doesn’t Apply To Your Autistic Child

25 comments to Surgery For Ear Tubes Fifth Time

  • Good luck with the surgery! I hope all goes well and the healing goes well. Hope she can get a hearing test soon and that the wax build up is little to none after this surgery. Poor kid. My oldest had ear infection after ear infection and had tubes also. It’s no fun to watch them. The tubes did help a lot with my son.
    Stacie recently posted..Sponge Painting, Water Sensory Bin, and Thinking of Change to Dakota’s Autism Therapy

  • Here’s hoping all goes well and what a sweet dad!

  • Awww I hope it goes well and that it’s not too rough on your son (and you!). Ear infections make life so miserable!
    Storm, the Psychotic Housewife recently posted..Are You Complacent?

  • Follower of Veritas

    your son is 15. he’s not a baby anymore and even being autistic he can learn to sit still in the doctors office. and why are you waking him up to give him eardrops?! put them in when he’s asleep. you can even give him oral meds while he’s asleep cause it’s a natural reflex to swallow and if you use a syringe without the needle then you can administer the meds slowly so he doesn’t gag or choke.my son’s SN and he’s had 7 pe and t tube surgeries plus over 20 major surgeries. i taught him to sit still when the docs looking at him and to take his meds without fighting me. only lazy parents dont teach their kids common courtesy and basic behaviour.

    • Tammy

      He’s 13, and on the severe end of the autism spectrum. He has to have drops in his ears after surgery. Putting drops in his ears when he is asleep won’t work. I might get lucky enough to get them into one ear before he is brought wide awake from me doing it. Then there is the other side to take care of. My son is a very light sleeper. Just coming into his room will wake him up. “Teaching” him to sit still in the doctor’s office when he’s scared to death of them sticking something in his ear? He will let them look in his ear, and he let try to clean an ear once at his regular doctor’s office. The PA ended up hurting him (she’s not there anymore, thankfully), and has “learned” to not let anyone mess with his ears. Obviously you know nothing about autism.

      • Tammy, I am so sorry that you have to hear people run their mouths that know nothing about what you and YOUR son go through. Please ignore simple minded people like her. I wish I could come from KY and hold your hand. B/c I would..So happy your dad is gonna help you..Thanks to you Dad..It makes me so mad that people want to leave these negative comments to other people whom they dont know anything about..How about a “prayin all goes well” or something like that..I do not have a chile with autism, but I do have common sense and a little common courtesy. I will listen to you anytime you need to talk..I am now following you on twitter. You can also find me on FB. so if you want you can tweet me a message and I will get back at ya..AGain, I am so sorry that you have to listen to ignorant people..Good luck with the surgery and tell him I’m rootin for him. Hopefully this one will go better than the last..God bless you Tammy and your family.

  • Why is it always the ‘perfect parents’ who post anonymously? You’d think they’d be so proud of their miraculous accomplishments that they’d want everyone to know who they are.

    I’m sorry you’re having a difficult time, Tammy. My child is not autistic and it’s still a task to get him to sit still for ear drops – I can only imagine the struggle with your son. I hope you find a way to ease the process – for both of you.

  • So what does that mean for me? I cried in the dentist chair last week the minute she walked in the room I was so scared and I’m 31.
    Jennifer @ Mom Spotted recently posted..Comment on It’s Avocado Season at Subway Restaurants! $25 Gift Card Giveaway! by Cynthia R

  • Good luck with surgery!! Can your daughter help by holding his hands if you wait until after your son gets up for the day (rather than waking him)?
    Sara Phillips recently posted..LEGOLAND Discovery Center {Grapevine, TX} #Review

    • Tammy

      Nope. He will need to be bodily held down by an adult while the drops are being put in. It’s not a pleasant situation for him. I’ll cry each time. But he is so super sensitive about his ears, it’s the only way.

  • Common courtesy and basic behavior has nothing to do with being afraid, autistic or not. I don’t know anyone that can easily sit still and mind their manners when they are scared.

    Good luck with the surgery and I hope he heals quickly.
    Billie recently posted..Wordless (yeah, right) Wednesday July 11, 2012

  • Sam

    I love that the anonymous poster believes that because she has a special needs child she knows all about yours. They are all the same, right? Geesh… it’s like saying that because we are both women that we think and feel the exact same things. It’s too bad you can’t teach everyone empathy.

    I hope everything goes better than expected with his recovery.
    Sam recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: It’s not fair

    • Tammy

      I agree. I have an autistic child, but I still wouldn’t assume that I know about another parent’s autistic child, let alone a child with a special need that is different than my child’s.

  • My daughter (who is not autistic and is only 5) had to have tubes put in twice. It is the worst feeling in the world to know your child is scared and there’s nothing you can do. When they laid her on the table and put the mask on her to put her to sleep, I could see the fear and sheer panic in her eyes and it killed me that I couldn’t do anything to calm her down. Thankfully, the surgery went well and her recovery was easier.

    I hope his surgery goes smoothly and the recovery (and subsequent drops) are easier than expected. We can always hope for small miracles, right? Good luck and BIG hugs!
    Lindsay recently posted..A Family Date with Super Why!

    • Tammy

      That’s how it was yesterday when the doctor tried to clean his ears out. He looked up to me with shear fear in his eyes. His palms were sweaty, and his body was all tensed. But, he was a trooper. He gave her one chance, but he couldn’t handle anymore than that. She got a little wax out of the one ear, and then he was fighting to get up. We couldn’t force him. Poor thing was just so scared.

  • Poor kid. From your description it sounds like he is one of the unfortunate people that produce more than typical ear wax. I know a few people like that. I hope all goes well and he is feeling better soon.

    It never fails to amaze me that even parents of special needs children don’t realize the vast differences between children on the spectrum.
    Mom Foodie recently posted..Gluten Free Maple-Coconut Veggie Patch Mini-Muffins

  • Kim

    Follower of Veritas? Ya, you kinda pissed me off with your comment. You are high and mighty!! Much praise to YOU for being such a wonderful, attentive and unlazy parent!! Kudos!! Because we all know that EVERY child is exactly the same and can be treated and taken care of the EXACT same way!!!!

    Anyways, hugs Tammy!! Everything will be fine. So glad that your dad will be there to help you out!!
    Kim recently posted..Southern Living What’s for Supper: 30-Minute Meals Everyone Will Love (Review & Giveaway)

  • Follower of Veritas

    First, this blog author posts information on autism behavior modification but does not modify her own kids’ behavior. Second, you all claim that your autistic children are intelligent and capable of learning, but then are all quick to use the defense of “well they can’t learn” instead of admitting you’re just too darned lazy to teach them. Third, a rat can be taught to solve multi-level, intensely difficult mazes but this 15 year old cannot learn (after FOUR previous identical surgical procedures) how to sit still for an ear exam and medication application. But, of course, it’s all MY fault because I loved MY children enough to invest the time to teach each of them – SN and NT – how to behave properly.

    Just because you all would rather spend your time whining instead of teaching your children and helping them to at least be decent human beings with basic skills since they cannot contribute to society, do NOT blame parents like me who invest the time needed for our kids to succeed. Unless, of course, your child lacks the intelligence and ability to learn even the most basic of skills such as sitting still when necessary. IF your child is that lacking, then admit it and no one will question your parenting skills. Parents like you, and patients like your son, are HELL on the doctors and medical staff caring for him. They will plaster on a fake, professional smile when you are watching, but trust me, when they see your name on the schedule they all cringe. Your kid pays for you allowing him to behave this way. When they hit a nurse or doctor, it gets charted and word gets out that this is a patient you don’t want to see.

    So go ahead and say nasty things about Me and parents like me, because OUR children will be the ones who succeed in life while your children will be dependent upon welfare to care for them when you no longer can.

    • Tammy

      You actually came back? And again, you show your ignorance on raising an autistic child. So sad. It’s people like you that make things harder for our children and us as parents. Reminder: my son is 13 not 15. He’s also extremely sweet, and his doctors love him. I never said my son couldn’t learn, that isn’t even what this is about. He’s scared. How is it good parenting to force a scared child to undergo an unnecessary procedure? Especially when that procedure can be conducted when he’s asleep during the surgery? The more you comment, the sorrier you sound. I almost feel sorry for you. If it wasn’t for the fact that it’s people like you that do the most harm for my son. Do us all a favor, and do some research on autism. I’m glad you are reading my articles, but you don’t seem to be actually learning anything from them. You seem like a very bitter person. Did you not have parents to show you love, and how to love? Is that why you are not able to understand and have compassion for autistic children and their parents?

  • Sam

    I doubt that ANON actually has a child with special needs, or her child is still young enough to be picked up so she hasn’t realized that children make their own choices, despite what we want.

    I don’t have an autistic child, but I have been a parent for 20 years and have a child with ADHD. There is one thing I know for sure about parenting… that we can do our best and teach them to act the way we feel they should… but they are individuals who make their own choices and have their own feelings and reactions.

    Parenting isn’t about making your children conform and be who you think they should be. It’s about loving and accepting your kids even when they aren’t who you expected they would be.

    Tammy, I wouldn’t waste another second thinking about that person. She’s not based in reality.
    Sam recently posted..My Spring Break Adventure #ToyotaRAV4Adventure

  • Dee

    I don’t have an autistic or special needs child but I do work in healthcare and know not all children are the same and not all children fall into the same autism spectrum.

    It’s NOT that an autistic child can’t learn and can contribute to society and many have become leaders in the field of science and medicine.

    Most have sensory issues or sensitivities, some can’t stand to be touched where others re sensitive to light or sound. How can you teach a child who feels every touch from another person is like sandpaper on their skin to sit still. I don’t know many adults that would do that.

    Some children have problems that can be helped by LOVING, CARING, PATIENT parents and not by dictators while some adults are so ignorant, thoughtless and rude and nothing will help them with that.
    Dee recently posted..Don’s Daily Wake-Up Call

  • I hope and pray your son’s surgery goes well.
    Theresa @ Faith and Family Reviews recently posted..Drawing, Art and the Magic Whiteboard

  • JanieMorgan

    I’m a mother to 5 and grandmother to 3. I’m also co-parenting my brothers’ 3 sons who are all on the Autistic Spectrum. I’ve worked for over 30 years as a pediatric physical therapist and occupational therapist for all ages. In a way, I understand what Follower of Veritas is trying to say.

    My brother is career Military and has been divorced for many years. His wife initially had joint custody with him and kept the boys whilst he was on deployment, then happily turned them over to him fulltime when he was home because they were out of control. The boys were out of control because she did absolutely nothing except give in to their every whim to keep them from having a tantrum. The boy recognized this and then used tantrums to get their way with her. She was too lazy to do her job as a parent. We eventually had to sue for sole custody and not even allow her visitation because of her behaviour around the boys. Since their mother is no longer a part of their lives and the boys are receiving constant guidance from their father and the rest of us, they have far exceeded all expectation from their physicians.

    Some parents are too lazy to perform exposure therapy or put in the time needed for behaviour modification to properly work and his ex-wife was one of them. I also saw it in the clinic daily. You could always tell which parents and children would be successful just by looking at them. The parents who succeeded would not bring in mobile phones/ipads/laptops but rather would listen intently, ask questions then write down notes for themselves to refer to later, and then the good parents would record the hours they spent on practicing technique. These parents were usually in good physical shape and were physically active.They kept their kids on healthy diets and routinely made them exercise as well. They decided upon rules for their kids to follow and made sure they did so daily. The ones who failed seemed to have absolutely no time for practicing ET or BM but had endless time to spend blogging or for FB and usually showed up for appointments plugged into the web via one device or another. They would half listen when the doctor spoke or go overboard on the question pretending they were involved but then not apply any of the advice given. They were usually overweight, refused to exercise or have their kids exercise, ate diets of fast food and junk, and spent their time gossiping online rather than one-on-one time with their kids.

    My sister-in-law lost the chance to even see her children because the Judge was an extremely intelligent man who looked at all aspects of her “mothering” which included how many hours she spent online versus how many hours she spent working with the boys. Something as small as exposure therapy before going to the doctor makes a difference. There are books meant for small children that would be on his mental level that you can read repeatedly for several weeks before the appointment/procedure. Whilst reading the books you can have someone work thru the stages of touching first his shoulder then his ear. After he is comfortable with what will happen and with having a stranger touching him, then you proceed to the next step of having him take charge and pretend to tell the doctor “look inside my ear. It hurts when XXXX”.

    Most of the issues are not in the autistics themselves but rather in the parents. The parents learn what it takes to keep their kid from having a tantrum instead of teaching their kid not to have the tantrum in the first place. The behaviour modification happens in the adult and suddenly the child has control. It is very possible to have autistic children who behave but you have to be willing to put in the work. The rewards are beyond belief, however, and the benefits to your child are well worth the sacrifice of getting offline and getting hands on with your kids.

  • [...] on July 16th, 2012 I’m writing this post as a response to a comment left on my Surgery For Ear Tubes post.  This post was received well, except by one reader. That reader basically called me a lazy [...]

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