Getting Through The Holiday DramaAutism Mom Blog

Getting Through The Holiday Drama

My Daughter 2008

This has been a tough holiday season.  I’ve been taking care of a really sick child.  My daughter has the flu.  On top of that, I was working hard to get the house ready for the family Christmas Eve party that was supposed to be held at my house.  I was really looking forward to it.  All my free time was devoted to getting the house in shape.

Between taking care of my daughter and cleaning the house, I haven’t had much time to do anything else.  At the last minute, the party was yanked from me and given to my sister-in-law.  That was a hard pill to swallow.  What was harder was explaining to my daughter that she couldn’t go.  She was sick, and there was an objection to having her at the party.  Someone was afraid of being around her.

Have you tried to explain to a nine year old that she can’t go to a family party because she is sick?  My daughter didn’t understand.  What she got from it was that no one on daddy’s side of the family wanted to be around her.  She blamed herself.  She spent Christmas Eve crying in her room, and apologizing for being sick.

My husband and I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t her fault.  In the end, I was so mad I just wanted to yell and scream at my husband’s family.  Specifically, the one person that caused my daughter to cry.  I cried and yelled at my husband.  I told him that his sister better talk to our daughter.  That she needed to say something that would make it all right.

When it was about time for the party to start, my daughter asked “Why can’t we just go?”  And I asked my husband, “Well, why can’t we?  What are they going to do if we show up?”  And so we did.  We covered my daughter’s mouth with a bandana, and went to the party.  She looked like a little bandit.

It was a tough night.  I stayed in the opposite side of the house until I was sure I could be around the one person that I was furious with for hurting my daughter.  Once I was under control, I was able to be in the same room and have a smile on my face.  It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t want to cause a scene during a family party.

The next morning, Christmas Day, we had plans to spend the day with my side of the family.  I learned later that my daughter had asked my husband “Will mommy’s family want to be around me?”  All the anger that I had let go, came back.  Christmas Day with my family calmed me down.  My daughter was welcomed with open arms, and she had a great time.  Despite the fact that she was sick, she managed to have fun.  When we got home, she went right to sleep.  She was completely worn out.

She is still sick.  My husband has taken her to Urgent Care.  She’s barely eating, and we keep having to force her to drink.  She also has a horrible cough.  We need to make sure that she hasn’t developed any complications.

The next couple weeks will be busy.  The kids are out of school for the holidays.  My husband is off of work for another 2 weeks.  My son has his ear surgery on January 18.  I’m praying for no complications.  The surgery itself is going to cause more hearing damage, but I’m hoping it doesn’t cause the facial nerve damage that his doctor warned me about.  I’ll try to post more often.  Like I said, it’s busy, and my family has to be my top priority.

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