My grandmother doesn’t call that often. She’s like me, doesn’t care for talking on the phone. That’s why I love it when she does call me. It really makes my day. Last week, she called me and asked what I was doing on a certain date. I replied with the first answer that popped into my head, “Going to Grandma’s house?” And she said yes!
My sister will be up here from Florida that weekend, and everyone is meeting up at grandma’s house. Grandma asked, several times, if we were all coming. If me and the kids were coming. I know what she was thinking, and what she wasn’t saying. I haven’t talked with my grandma since I was diagnosed with depression. The last time we were scheduled to go to grandma’s house, I ended up staying home.
I don’t know if my mom has discussed my depression with grandma, but I’m thinking that she did. Given the repeated questions, I think that’s an indication that she knows. I could be wrong. I’ll find out next month, when we go to see her.
I’m nervous about being around the whole family. I have only been around my parents since I started getting treated for depression. I’m getting more comfortable about talking about it. I have a really good friend that is manic/depressive, and she has been a big help. I know my sister is being treated for depression, but she has never talked to me about it.
Not that we talk much. Unfortunately, we don’t have a close relationship. The only times I talk to her are the occasional visits she makes up here, and on the phone for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those phone conversations are usually short and impersonal. I always get the feeling that I just don’t measure up in some way. Like I’m the relative that everyone can do without.
I’m doing good, for the most part. Things have gotten super busy with the family. My daughter has joined a lot of after school clubs, and I had to make her write them all on the calendar for me. Between those, doctor appointments, and regular day-to-day errands, I am constantly on the go. I’ve let the housework go a bit. I’m still trying to juggle my schedule around to make time to do it. I had to force myself to sit down and write this post, before I headed out to the store. And, of course, my husband thinks I sit around doing nothing all day. Like I used to. I know better, and that’s good enough for me.